Have you ever at some point in your life felt like a piece of bubble gum that has been chewed the whole day, and having lost its initial sweetness? or even worse, some toilet paper that is once all soft, smooth, white.. to dignify that its pure in some way? then all over sudden.. WHAM! WIPE! PANGUZA! SCRUB! [Ooh.. I know you do.. huh? huh? some of you.. don’t give me that look now 😉 ]Eeeewww!! I know right? Sorry to get your mind thinking in that direction… 😀 but, these are all but metaphors describing one thing. The whole aspect of having a purpose/meaning at one point.. and then… Alas! your not so important as you were before Gerrit?
Well, talking from experince.. it feels like a sheep being lead to slaughter.. innocently without its consent.. without it knowing what the future holds for it and then the unexpected happens.. 😦 sad aey?
I have been a victim of this whole scenario once… and I must say.. by the time you realise your like… “DHOOW!!! $%&*@#@%” [aaai??! lakini, me I don’t do the funny wordings, symbols thing that you have just seen at the end :D. No seriously!]. That whole that glitz and glam phase was futile.. and all you wanna do is SLAP SOMEBARRY!! 😀 * right..?! *
Taking someone for granted just because they are: slow to anger, soft spoken, nice, forgiving, polite and excetera may seem/appear as though it does not hurt them.. plus, I bet they are like, “nyee! they’ll still talk to us later.. and it will be as though this.. never happened..” *sigh..(darn you brainless little monkey…) You know, even those who portray strong personality traits.. also do get hurt, the only difference is: the gullible ones express their anger in the open with a particular action like silence; while those who portray a ‘hard core’ personality (so to say) suck it up but, in some way, it does get to them later and as they think about it, it depresses them for a while too.. However, the ‘hard cores’ appear the next day as though everthing is hunky dorry while the soft spoken ones take time to recuperate and also take time to talk to those who wouded them.
I happen to know a ‘soft spoken’ girl who had feelings that were as fragile as a well cooked plate of fish. The kinder girl who is slow to anger when someone would wrong her; she would lock herself up in her room and write down a poem that could shatter anyone that would read it; she would fall asleep sometimes believing that when she wakes up, she wakes up to a new era in the future hoping to forget the whole experience and branding it as ‘past’; self pity checks in and deppression follows; getting lost in the trail of her thoughts that even her beauty slowly fades to unpleasnt; she would try to find a spot/ location where she could just cry her eyes out and pray to God asking him why it had to be her all the time…
but, things did change for her…..
She not only found confidence and comfort in herself but in God as well :). We sometimes can’t keep on crying forever, as though someone died ZI BANA!! Its seemed like your the only one in your circle that experienced some tsunani or earthquake of some kind all by yourself, looking all down trodden as though ‘dunia inaisha.‘ One needs to find true happiness and true happiness begins with yourself :). That way even though someone decides to kick you all way up in the heart or somewhere that really hurts.. SMILE!! LAUGH!! & LOVE!! as though there’s no tomorrow. Show them that nothing that they say or do shall tear you down! and that my friends.. is how you create waht I would to call a big, fat.. KIMNATHO! 😀 and then, this is where respect also check in too as well 🙂
I definitely did learn the hard way from primary all the way to a part on university but now… It is by grace! because, I finally found the joy inside me.. Jesus 🙂