IF AT FIRST WE DON’T SUCCEED…

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Well, from my point of view I feel that this wise saying should have been rephrased as so, “If at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth etc… you don’t succeed try, try again. The screen saver on my phone reads, “Never give up on your dreams.” This is to constantly remind me not to despite the odds. If you are wondering where I am heading with this, I’ll bring you up to speed.
If I was given a chance
Only to enhance
My being inside
But definitely no pride
To sing, act, dance, write and broadcast
Man…

If only I can get past
With no strain, no strain but focus
Sometimes I wonder whether it’s a curse…
Maybe it is; maybe it ain’t
Or… could it be that I am faint?

Let’s just say one of my weekends was a turnover of a particular event. Not much sleep mixed feelings and filled with beehive of activity from Friday to Sunday.
I have always loved the arts (theatre) as far as I can remember. Since my primary school days till to date, I always marveled at live performances be it: singing, dancing and acting. Especially if the notes are hit just right, a scene was performed beautifully or when I could tell that the dancers performed with all that they got… I always got what I call, goose-pimple-chills. Admiration is in fact the word to use to fit this description.
There is this inspirational book that I have been reading by an amazing Kenyan author titled, “Excuse me, your dream is calling you,” that speaks to me as though the writer was just stalking my life! Hehe… Synopsis, he basically talks about the power of the mind; how ones thoughts can shape the destiny of your life; the surrounding environment you set for yourself does contribute how one turns out to be later on in the future and so much more deep stuff.
So, he talks about, “ The dream,” which could be that thing that you keep on thinking about; that is constantly nagging your thoughts and to the extent of the thought of it just passes some sought of shock wave that runs through your body or even giving you goose bumps just by hearing it. That then my friend is your dream. Therefore, you should chase it knowing that the road to achievement and success requires: sacrifice, persistence, hard work, commitment, hope and positivity. But, as I tell you this, I am telling myself as well.
You see…
I heard that there was an audition on Saturday for a musical play that will be shot for television viewing. Thus, on Friday I was busy with my ginger, lemon and honey concoctions so as to make sure that my voice was well maintained and practicing over and over what I would be reciting.
Excitement and anxiety were my visitors mid Saturday morning as I approached the location that was going to define my destiny… so; I plastered a smile on my face and held my chin high in the air with some ounce of certainty. We were about 130 people and in the mix I met familiar faces and also brushed shoulders with people who have been in the television industry longer than any of us has been. Yes, celebrities. You tell me how it is impossible for me not to have low self esteem… anyway,
10am till 2pm are the hours that I had been standing until I finally got to hear my name being read out. Nervousness is not even a word just enough to describe what I was feeling. When I was done, I made sure I broke the ice of any doubt that they had in their head and for sure, I did.
When I came out, I knew that I did my best and for sure at exactly 9:37pm I was called back!!! Speechless? Sure…
Anxiety checked in again Sunday morning and I got ready for the day. When I arrived at the location for a second audition, this time we were few in number. That is from 130 people to 35 Kenyans battling head to head for the lead roles.
The auditions went on until 1pm where after lunch break of getting to know each other, bonding and sharing light moments, the director dropped 27 people later on… me included and it really did quite a number on me because in my head I knew that this was it… this is the dream… it was exactly what I wanted in life… But, even in the verge of punching myself, or thinking that I wasted a whole weekend for nothing, I did not get the chance to appreciate the fact that I met such amazing people and got to learn quite a lot.
One does not just wake up one day and think, “Aha!! Eureka! I will just go for the audition because I know that, mimi ni Yule gwan ;)” nope, it does not work like that. One has to have known much more of themselves and discover their capability to do a particular task. Practicing ones skill does make perfect to one day stand with your chest out saying, “I’m ready lez do this!”
Moral of the story is, life is not always hunky dory but, in order to survive we must learn from our experiences in order to make us wise for the future. And if we fall, we get up, dust ourselves and move on for if at first, second, third, fourth, fifth etc… we don’t succeed, then we try, try again until we finally get it right and have a story to tell of your success. Isn’t that right my beautiful people 🙂

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